MAN... i just which i can turn back time you know.... i just wish things can go smooth for me... if only i can turn back time... i would not do the stupid things that i did to hurt people and be arrogant... damn me man... it is just that i have done too many hurtful things and i am very paisei to confess and to ask for forgiveness or even to straighten back the situation... my arrogant has really taken a toll on me... people do make mistakes but the mistakes i did was too hurtful for those people whom i hurt... but... nvm.. i will try to reconcile back.. slowly.. using my own ways... i will try... i believe it will be alright again... i just need to be a little bit more confident and a little bit more less arrogant at handling these stuff... writing these confessing tiself have taken me days to think about it.... maybe this is what i deserve after hurting too many people and make a lot of mistakes... good luck to me and may god bless me in whatever i am doing... peace out!
for those of you who read this blog and is the one i offended in a way... let it be the past, present or even the future... I CANT SAY ENOUGH OF APOLOGISING... I KNOW WORDS CAN MEAN NOTHING.. BUT PLS.. TAKE THIS AS MY FIRST STEP OF EVOLVING...
YA.. IM STILL EVOLVING... i am giving myself one month to reduce my weight for about 3 kg at least.. now i am 80 kg.. so may god bless...
i am evolving my whole self... outside and inside... cause i need to change in order to be more mature and to stick to the advise my mum gave me... i will delete this post after i think i have made a little improvement... may god bless!
today is my mum's birthday!!! yes... the lady whom made the greatest sacrifice by having me as a son... i have infinite great things that i can talk about my mum... but since this is a blog i will only say the valuable things that she teaches me about life...
1) always be tough when facing with life problems...
2) always be sensitive, understand and be a true gentleman when handling people of the opposite sex...
3) be mature...
4) must have responsibility in myself and the things that i do...
5) abide to the teachings of ISLAM and dont be weaken by the test god send me...
6) always take life easy... dont make little things a burden...
7) have a good life...
8) always think of upgrading my life...
9) always be calm and relax whe facing problems...
10) actually theres tons of other advises she gave me that i will not share because i dont wan to share with you guys...
having a mum is great because from when the sole of your foot is about the size of your thumb, mum has always been taking care of us ever since... that is what i call true love... hahaha... i wonder if even my future girlfriend could treat me at least the same way as my mum did since 18 years ago... no girl in this world can match the love that my mum showered me ever since i am in her womb... i just hope and pray to god that i am able to at least repay a bit of the ultimate sacrifice she made... sob.. sob..
but frankly i am very sad to see that mums around the world is not getting the love and attention they needed... no need to say the whole world lah.. just look at us ourself... what we do everyday do we ever think once about our mum? when we are kissing and hugging and even constantly thinking of our boyfriend or girlfriend, do we ever even care kiss our mum at the chick even once to show our love to her? have we ever think about our mum? what we do everyday is to nag at them for not preparing the dinner or even worse case scenario, some even shout vulgar language and disowned their own mother!!!for god's sake my friends... at least think of the stuff that she do for us when we are little... do our BGR do that for us? even our BGR need thier parents to change diapers for them when their little!!! my advise to all of you who read my blog... be a man/woman... have responsibllity and if you cannot love your mums.. DONT EVEN THINK OF HAVING A GIRLFRIEND OR A BOYFRIEND... because if we don love our mum... we can do that too to our BGR... plus when we grow up and have our own family... you think that god will keep quiet is it? if you guys have belief you should know that whatever you guys do now.. your genes will be past down to your future generation and it will happen to you too DAMN IT!!!
well maybe you guys will be shock of this blog of mine... tell you another confession about me and one of my secrets... actually i love volunteering myself in community services like going and helping out at the old folks home and even the orphanage... ever time i have the invitation or the chance i love to volunteer myself to do these kind of services... i don ask for anything as a reward but the lessons i learned from mixing with these kind of people really open up my mind towards life... life is actually not something that we must take for granted because life is something much more valuable than money!!!
my conclusion advise is always think and love your mother and think about the things she sacrifice to let us have our life now... when you always think about these kind of stuff then you will create less sins and do less bad things in life because there is always like some kind of reminder in our head that what goes around, comes around... tell you frankly what i learn form my experiences... treat people the way you want to be treated... one more last advise... if you think about other people god will always think about you and your life will be like a breeze... good luck peeps!!!
i believe that i can do it... i believe in the impossible... i believe in overcoming all obstacle... i believe that i can achieve the sky if i believe... i believe that if one day the sky will meet the earth... i believe that one day all problems and complications will be solved... i believe that one day all those who have issues with me will be my friends... i believe that if i can dream and execute... i will be the best... i believe that if i try to be somone else... i will not succeed in life... i believe that if i wait for the right moment... i will have the correct choice... i believe that if i try... i will make it... i believe that if i do my best... i will shine my light for all to see... i believe that that moment will come if i believe...
i am but a normal human being... i am but a young man trying to find his way around... i am but a student trying to get his Diploma... i am but a guy who has a lot of secret in him... i am but a lost soul... i am but a guy who really wishes to find his true purpose in life... i am but a guy who almost lost his ways... i am but a guy who always masked a happy face but have a thousand sorrows to cry for... i am but the guy who people see as interesting and bright but have a thousand secrets to unveal... i am not the one that people think i am the one...
if only people understand me... if only this world doesn't revolve on wolves masking like a goat... if only i can read and think what people does... if only this unforgiving world treats me kindly... if only i am but a freak of nature... if only i am but a black belt... if only circumstances side with me...
i am but a normal human being... forgive me for being me...
story in my life
searching for the right
but it keeps avoiding
me
sorrow in my soul
'cause it seems that
wrong
really loves my company
she's more than a girl
and this is more than
love
the reason that the sky
is blue
the clouds are rollin' in
because i'm gone again
and to her i just can't
be true
and i know that she
knows i'm unfaithful
and it kills her inside
to know that i am
happy with some other
girl
i can see her dyin'
i don't wanna do this
anymore
i don't wanna be the
reason why
everytime i walk out
the door
i see her die a little
more inside
i don't wanna hurt her
anymore
i don't wanna take
away her life
i don't wanna be a
murderer...
our love
her trust
i might as well take a
gun
and put it to my head
get it over with
i don't wanna do this
anymore
Ooooh...
a murderer
no no no
yeah yeah...
sigh* im just joking... hehehe
trying to make an impression...
trying to act cute as usual... you guys know me...
since primary one when my dad first bought me a book about the outer space, i have fallen in love with it and i have found it to be very interesting... just like me.. i am very interesting.. space too is very interesting...
since the first book my dad bought me i have been asking my dad to buy me more books on space... i even collect my own pocket money to buy myself books about space... but my interest is not only about space.. i love history like it is my own little brother because i think that history is what that makes us humans now and not like animals last time when we fight for world conquest like nobodys business and enslaving people like life have no value...
but now i just want to talk about my interest in space... the outer space is a vacuum space whereby not even air exist! can you people believe it? outer space have no air! then how do we have air in the first place? do you guys like ever wonder how do space first come from in the beginning? how does the BIG BANG theory is being created when nobody's alive at that time? do you guys ever wonder that all the stuff you guys read about outer space in books is just an imaginary statement made by the scientists? well... actually i have made some research on my own and i found out that the scientists coming up with statements and things about the outer space is actually just an imaginary imagination that the scientists make!!! maybe for some of you this maybe confusing because you guys dont really care about this things and take this kind of things for granted... i understand that in this age this kind of stuff does not matter because finding girlfriends and finding boy friends are the top main priority for you guys... i understand... i am like that too but i dont take things for granted and i would like to know and to question the hows and whys about things around us... for me there are more important things that we as youth to take care of like the world current affairs now and the ever aggresive effect of global warming that we ourselve created it... do you guys know that even smoking actually does contribute to the global warming!!! the smoke that you guys puff out have actually the same content as the cars exaust pipe!!! it is a very bad kind of carbon dioxide release from the puff that have extra substance that actually contribute to global warming... frankly the smoke you guys puff is not even catagorise as carbon dioxide scientifically...(for your info) you guys just want to act cool smoking and stuff thinking that the world will notice you if you smoke... but the reality is that your killing yourself and the people around you... this maybe offensive to some of you reading this but this is the fact my friends, and i apologise if your feelings are hurt...
back to the things about space... as a muslim... i have been taught about science in the eyes of a muslim... we believe in god... and the holy Quran have all the information that we need to know about everything in life... including about the outer space... to tell you guys frankly... i am still researching the holy Quran about space and its purpose but i have manage to find some info about it through my religious teachers and some islamic books about the existence of space... i will write again if i have really found out about this big mystery about space and its purpose in this reality...
i hope that this little insight that i have will be your reading pleasure and i will write more about the things that most of my teenage friends take for granted...
thank you very much to all my friends that help me in my time of needs. some of you advise me directly, some of you advise me through MSN, some of you advise me through e-mails and some of you advise me through other mediums...
again i want to say thank you very much... only god can bless you guys for your deeds...
true friends are hard to find in this unforgiving world that is full of uncertain things between us humans...
PS: my email is publish at Suria Segar today... thank you firdaus for telling me.. if not i also don't know...
why didnt i think of it much more earlier ah... im just 18... theres still a life time of experience for me to enjoy my life!!! i am the king of my own life!! i make my own decision...
well all this while i have been able to pass through this kind of feeling not once but a few times... but i do not know why i cannot handle this DILLEMA now...
i think i have grown soft lah... well thanks for the advise my friend and also to the others whom advise me on my DILLEMA... now then i know who and whom is my true friends... true friends will help us when we are in trouble but friends will help us only if there is a something for them to gain... thanks again for making me realise this... i think that poly life have really change my prospective and my attitude has change towards my life...
well... THE ROCK shoulnt be weaken by DILLEMA... THE ROCK control his own destiny and THE ROCK is THE ROCK... you know what i mean... and zee... i am no longer THE PEBBLE...
hahaha...
well... this is the month of syawal and it should be a happy month for me and i shouldnt get too emo on stuff like DILLEMA...
haiyah... i think this is life ah and this things that make us mature...
well... i feel a mixtures of feelings now as the month of ramadan is ending and the starting of my busy life will get back to me. but this time, it will be different, i will have new challenges and new things to handle. why i feel so sad during hari raya it is because ramadan is leaving and after this i will be ever busy again with more than 2 IGs to handle and quite a lot of other self or personal stuff to do. i got a lot of comment from my friends from other polys stating that i am crazy having more than 2 CCA but frankly i fell very satisfied with it because this is the time where i really prepare myself for my future responsibilities. i just hope and pray and also hope for those reading my blog now to pray and to wish for me so that i would not fall sick and so that i would constantly be a rugged young man i am now.
god create humans for a purpose in life. frankly i don really know my true purpose in life i mean my purpose in life not in the after life because i am a muslim and one of the duties of a muslim is to pray and thank god for all the blessings and gifts that god constantly give me.
but i am a normal human being and i have my weakness and other not so good stuff... so i take this opportunity to wish a very happy depavali and selamat hari raya to all my friends from these two religion and race.... guys.. wish u for the best in life and hope to meet u guys in school and outside if we are fated to meet... hahaha... peace out!!!
A MUST READ AFTER READING THIS BLOG...
since this is my blog and there are just lots of things that i am going or has talked about. the things that i talk about may hurt some people and may inject some kind of unhappiness and angry for some. so, i cant keep track who's reading and this blog is like my journal so i am not going to apologise or watever. just read on...
feeling the least offended already??? smack that.. all on the floor.. smack that.. give me some more.. smack that.. till u get sore.. hahahaha.... peace out peeps...
